ha ha! No worries I have nothing to prove or to post that would be of any interest to many or any.
But I myself am saddened that I do not keep up with the blog for my own sake. So many things happen... that I can journal about. So many memories that I will forget since I do not post. So many thoughts, feelings, anxieties, and fears that I would have loved to have written about then, that I can't really write about now because I am not "there" in that "then" state, like I am here now. I can only go by the short memory of what happened then, but could give no justice to what was then.
I will give a shot at one...
At the end of May I was itching, pleading, wanting so bad to move away! Move away from all the chaos in my family. All the disrespect, dishonor, jealousy, and hatred towards each other, towards God. I was so bothered at what was happening around me and my children. I had no patience to deal with it. I wanted to run away as if that would help. I could not and would not find the love in my heart to be patient and loving with those around me. A very sad state now that I look back at it. Question: How can I be of help to my family and God if I am not present? What good would I be gone? No good! No help!
Because I didnt write then, I don't recall or pin point the exact thing that helped me look at things differently.
At the end of May I was itching, pleading, wanting so bad to move away! Move away from all the chaos in my family. All the disrespect, dishonor, jealousy, and hatred towards each other, towards God. I was so bothered at what was happening around me and my children. I had no patience to deal with it. I wanted to run away as if that would help. I could not and would not find the love in my heart to be patient and loving with those around me. A very sad state now that I look back at it. Question: How can I be of help to my family and God if I am not present? What good would I be gone? No good! No help!
Because I didnt write then, I don't recall or pin point the exact thing that helped me look at things differently.
A few things that may have helped were:
*Discussing my feelings to friends from church.
One response from a friend was "You would want to leave your parish?" The thought in my head was no! I love my parish, church, and homeschool community!
*Discussing my feelings to friends from church.
One response from a friend was "You would want to leave your parish?" The thought in my head was no! I love my parish, church, and homeschool community!
*Going to listen the Lay Apostle Anne Speak. It was beautiful and so filling to the soul. Her words enlightened, inspired, and excited me to want to be present to my family.
I was able to take notes, which I am so glad of and will post later.
*God needs my help. What better place then here would there be? My family needs God, just as I need Him. If I help and serve Him, then I will will be helped. If I am in close relationship with Christ things change. I can love them, be patient with them and perhaps lead them to Christ.
So I post this much hoping that I could find in my busy head, other memories, thoughts, and feelings that I could blog about. And not be so "busy" that I can't even journal and vent about my life for my own sake.
Others things I'd like to post about:
*Notes from Anne's talk
*The Battle We Are All In
*Our short trip to CA
*Scrapbook Picture Pages
*Being a better Friend
*Our life revolves around "that place"
*Homeschooling
2 comments:
I agree with you 100% It is hard to keep up with the now. Just try your best, do you what you can. I still have stuff to post too. To give you a laugh, I can't even keep up with commenting in a timely fashion that it is already too late. You know what I mean?
Also, I agree with you 100% with family and God strife. We have the same issues. And lately I have been feeling so sad about it. Now I know how God must feel about how he created all his children and some just don't want to come to him. I am now praying that our family members or friends get bombarded with other people talking about God that maybe then they will finally come "home". And something else on the Catholic radio I heard them say that even us "regular" Catholics need to be evangalized. So we can be reminded of everything. I found that really interesting!
Now more than ever I think we have to remain strong in our faith and teach the kids that too because so many people can try to make the wrong things seem OK. But if we are strong we know the truth.
Peace and Love and God Bless you! You are a Great witness to your family, don't forget that.
One other comment to make you laugh. I thought about stopping my blog a few times but this is the only way I know how to share my pictures! I am sure I can figure another way but I don't want to do something new right now.:) Also, thanks for praying for my Grandpa and I. I sure appreciate it Yvette!
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